is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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