Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
should my penis look like a turkey
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
