so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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