my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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