Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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