I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize