Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
