just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
