So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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