Dual....:-)
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I will pee on everything he values.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
