..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
