Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
