have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
