she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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