Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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