i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
