He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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