Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
