so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
