I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
