It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
