If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
