I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
