The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i think i just lost a toe
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
