why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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