afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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