Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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