i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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