I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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