Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.

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(314): View more from Missouri

We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world

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(480): View more from Arizona

I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.

(602): View more from Arizona

you slept with him again didn't you

(480): View more from Arizona

you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well

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(616): View more from Michigan

I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night

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