and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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