Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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