I will die if light touches me.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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