Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dick very happy bro
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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