I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize