he wants to bone in the snuggie
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
