My hand turned me down
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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