I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
