Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
How does one acquire holy water?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
