Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
