Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
