You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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