i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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