So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
