Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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