so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
