Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
