I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
