we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
