i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
