and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
