Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
