im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
