I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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