Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
nutella sex= disaster
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
