Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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