I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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