he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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