and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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