these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
