I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
