so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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