Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
