Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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