i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
