i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
